Friday, March 12, 2010

ding ding ding - In this corner we have Kim's "PLAN" and In that corner is Kim's "REALITY" - 8/3/09

The TL is in the shop because I'm to stupid to text while stopping. You heard right. I'm freekin' stopped at a red light and get into an accident while was when I was back in Florida so the details are a bit (There MAY have been a greenlight involved and me ASSUMING the box truck in front of me was

....Anyway...I finally take her into the shop and am now without wheels for 4 days. Of course I did make this appointment and one would think I would have ran errands that needed running; planned ahead and picked up groceries I would be needing, etc. One would be wrong.

I get dressed for the gym before taking my car in because I was going to walk up and get a work-out in as soon as I got home. Instead I get sidetracked on getting the details of transferring my appraisal license to Delaware. I needed a form notarized. HERE'S THE LIGHTBULB OVER THE HEAD MOMENT. I'll walk to my bank which is only about a mile away; get my form notarized and then walk over to Acme (which is situated on the opposite corner) and grab a few things. I took my backpack for the few items I'd be picking up. Good plan, right?

Phase one actually goes off without a hitch. Get to the bank, remember to take sunglasses off because I am carrying an empty backpack...doesn't look so good to the cameras. Phase 2 starts when I exit the bank and realize while Acme is in fact caddy-corner to the bank however it is situated across the biggest undeveloped, vacant field you've ever seen beyond which is the biggest parking lot you've ever seen. I walk around the field because it looks like it has a bunch of those "hitch hiker" plants where the sticky things stick to your shoelaces & socks. Get to Acme and pick up a "few things". My few things turn into enough food to feed a family of 4 for a week. I kept saying to myself "Oh this will fit" over and over and over and over and over again.

sidenote: I pick today to be the day I start to drink at least a gallon of water.

So I get everthing into my backpack and start the journey home (again only about a mile). I feel like I'm carrying someone piggy back style and 1/2 way through the parking lot I start to stumble over my pigeon toes. Now is the time Mother Nature decides to inform me I have too much water in the system. AARR! I decide to risk the sticky hitchhiker plants and "cut through" the field to shed some time. I'm wearing my at least 4 year old Nike's that still look brand new due to lack of use. 1/2 way through the field and schlopp! - mud. that's right people - I must now sludge through the mud. I keep walking and eventually find some sidewalk. I go into a trance of counting my steps (one, two, one, two, one two) and remind myself if the people on The Biggest Loser can do what they do - I can certainly walk a freekin' mile with a heavy backpack. I begin to slouch over - it helps. I had to reconsider the slouching when my head started to hit the pavement about 2' in front of my feet each time I took a step. I make it home. Barely. I skipped the gym - decided on a nap instead.

If you ever need to walk to the grocery store - here is what will fit into your backpack:

1 container of Portobello mushrooms
1 container of regular sliced mushrooms
1 bag of fresh baby spinace
3/4 pound steamed shrimp
1 package of birthday candles
1 can of frosting
2 bottles of vitamins
1 pound of low salt sliced turkey from the deli
2 pounds of baby carrots (buy one get one...hello!?!)
2 large sweet onlions
3 bell peppers
4 roma tomatoes
2 beefsteak tomatoes
4 granny smith apples
1 pound lean ground beef
2.5 pounds of skinless chicken breast (bogo...hello?!?)
4 cans of tuna fish
1 large can black beans
2x 1 pound containers of cottage cheese
1 cake mix
1 bottle of water; a wallet and a cell phone.

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